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UCU alumna in England: Surviving and thriving with character and faith

UCU Alumni, , , , , ,


Sarah Lagot Odwong (third from left) celebrating Uganda independence day with friends in the United Kingdom.

By Sarah Lagot Odwong

Graduate school was always a childhood dream. A Master’s degree. Perhaps several Master’s degrees. And a PhD, that is Dr. Sarah Lagot Odwong, has quite a punchy ring to it. The academic designation adds power to tell the story of hope.

From a simple, dusty Barjere village in the throes of recovery after over two decades of civil war in Northern Uganda, beauty could rise from ashes. More importantly, young women who shared my background could see that they could achieve anything. They could paint pages of colorful life portraits. They could tell their life stories in whatever manner or fashion they felt represented their authenticity.

Uganda Christian University graduate, Sarah Lagot Odwong (center) with members of her church youth group in England.

When I got an email confirming my admission into a global top 10 humanitarian graduate school at the University of Manchester (England), I envisioned pieces of the jigsaw puzzle of my life painfully strewn by circumstances and carefully gathered back finally fitting into one coherent whole. Now, I could visualize myself seated at “The Table of Men.” Now, I could see myself applying for global positions of leadership in the places where people who looked like me, who thought like me, who spoke like me hardly ventured or never got the opportunity to enter. I was elated.

This breakthrough was the culmination of prayer and hard work. And so my journey to England started. I did not know what to expect. I was anxiously hoping that I did not make a mistake in coming to the graduate school instead of accepting a seemingly life-changing job offer.

I knew that in spite of my fears, I had to make this experience count. I was welcomed to the United Kingdom by a harsh gust of icy wind at the airport. I remarked to a colleague who came to pick me up that I hoped the rainy, chilly weather was not ominous of what lay ahead.

Once at school, I settled in with much gusto to the rigors of course registration, opening bank accounts, finding a place to live, attending socials with classmates, joining societies, visiting museums, searching for a new church, meeting new people from around the world, learning to ride double-decker buses and trains, trying out new cuisines (I live three minutes away from a two-mile stretch of Indian, Pakistani, Turkish, Lebanese, Afghan, Iraqi, Caribbean, Chinese, Thai restaurants dubbed The Curry Mile.). The experiences of a new place, new culture, and new people were initially exciting. Until they weren’t.

One shock that jolted me out of my reverie was an academic roadblock. For most of my life, school came fairly easy to me. Granted, I work hard. Extremely hard, I might add. However graduate school outside of Uganda challenged me in ways that I could never fathom. My classmates were 29 of some of the smartest, most competitive and accomplished people from around the world. Some had led United Nations humanitarian operations in Iraq. Others had overseen disaster relief efforts in Haiti, Japan and other corners of the globe. Suddenly, my experience leading a small communications department in the Uganda Country Office of an international non-profit seemed incomparable.

This was when the “impostor” syndrome set in. I wondered if I was good enough. I wondered if by some strange twist of fate I had fluked my way into the program. I pondered on how I would measure up to academic giants and people of noteworthy professional report over the course of program. My self-confidence dipped. It must have showed. Some boisterous types made it a point to laud their career exploits and academic achievements around me.

Overnight, my work was not good enough. The professors’ comments on my assignments were razor sharp and captious. I lacked critical thinking abilities, they said. My academic writing was lackluster. My thoughts were incoherent. I needed to reference better. Stop using colloquial language, they opined.

One in particular failed me flat in an assignment, calling my referencing for the paper “atrocious. “ I failed and picked myself up numerous times, but this time was different. The surly remarks ate into my psyche. I started to feel constantly inadequate. Self-doubt crept in. I walked into the graduate study office and cried at my desk.

Dark cold days, no friends, no family and mind ready to explode with stress and fatigue. I was struggling. And I did not know how to get a grip on the fast spinning chaotic wheel that my life had become.

Being thousands of miles away from my biological family in Uganda and my bonus family in Ohio, I kept up a facade of a big strong girl facing a big unwelcoming world. But even big strong girls falter. Phone calls, emails and texts from my loved ones contained the usual banter of familial relations. “How are you?’,” they prodded. I answered in the affirmative. I was doing okay, I was learning new things, and I was meeting new people. How far from the truth! I feared to rock their boats. Confessions of struggle would elicit worry and panic.

I made a difficult mental decision to turn things around for myself. It took utmost courage but here’s what I did:

  • I asked to resubmit certain assignments where I attained less than desirable grades. They were re-marked and I got much better grades.
  • I extracted myself from the class social setting to avoid the constant negativity and comparisons.
  • I sieved comments put on my assignments. I took to heart the ones that prompted me to learn and improve. I dissociated from the ones that were penned in jest and bad taste.
  • I joined a new church and started attending youth fellowships on Thursday evenings.
  • I became more deliberate about keeping in touch with family and friends in Uganda and in Ohio. I called regularly. I sent texts. Maintaining a line of connection with the people who mattered most in my life reminded me of the circle that valued my worth. It reaffirmed my existence and evoked appreciation of my capabilities. Family and friends will do for your self-confidence what a thousand self-praise singers cannot.
  • Above all, I found God in a brand new way. In the midst of the chaos, He anchored me. In the midst of insecurity and instability, He was a refuge. I developed a relationship of reckless faith, of absolute trust in his ability to steer the course of my life. I knew that despite what the reality presented, I was coming out stronger on the other side. That for me, made all the difference.

When people ask me about my experience of graduate school, my mind does not immediately wander to the mundane academic rigors associated with it. This was the easy part.

Instead, it veers to something more profound: Character.

Nobody prepared me for the loneliness, doubt, tears, frustration, agony and disappointments. I had to learn to gain resolve, to build a stronger relationship with God, to strengthen my resilience muscles, to find the inner strength daily to get up and put in the work. I came to understand that the mind creates in the spiritual what eventually manifests in the physical. You have to believe in you first before anybody else does. I realized our lives are dictated by variables and constants. Variables are opinions of men and always subject to change. Constants are laws. Our lives should be run by constants (truth). There is no truth without the WORD.

This certainly put things into perspective. People who maligned and doubted me uttered variables. My life should not be swayed like a yo-yo ball in the direction of their dictates. I needed to remember whose I am.

I chose to align to what the WORD said about me. I am an overcomer and a world changer. Whosoever is born of God overcomes the world. God’s purpose for our lives is that we fight the good fight of faith. Perpetual sleepless nights spent studying, constant fatigue, no social life, walking alone in a snow-filled park, praying in the cold; I needed to keep sight of the vision. The resultant good grades, the PhD admission, the extended professional networks, speaking engagements with global organizations did not come out of nowhere. They were borne out of painful sacrifices, never giving up, and the unmerited favor of God.

In a nutshell, my key takeaway from graduate school was the importance of character in navigating this journey called life. People see your outward glory. They do not see the toil and sacrifices planted prior.

Do not expect many to understand or even support your dream. Even the people set in your path to steer you to your destination will be inhibitors. Hold on to the people who love and support you. They will buttress you from the waves of adversity.

Above all, remember that the situation you find yourself in is only “impossible” because you have not taken action. “Impossible” is only an opinion in the minds of men. You define the limits of what is possible and what is not. As long as you have a mind to think, you have everything you need to achieve your dreams.

Becoming Dr. Sarah Lagot Odwong does not seem so far-fetched anymore. Running the United Nations Directorate of Gender is not a childhood mirage anymore. It is actually a dream within potential grasp. One day, a young girl in Barjere village will say: “I pursued because I saw her pursue. I soldiered on because she never gave up.”

All things are possible to him or her who believes. Pick up your cross and try again.

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Dr. John Smith working a math problem on the white board in his UCU Tech Park apartment (UCU Partners photo)

Farewell to UCU’s longest-serving lecturer from the UK

Science and Technology, , , , ,


Dr. John Smith working a math problem on the white board in his UCU Tech Park apartment (UCU Partners photo)
Dr. John Smith working a math problem on the white board in his UCU Tech Park apartment (UCU Partners photo)

By Patty Huston-Holm

Legend has it that the Rev. Dr. John Denmead Smith loves mathematics so much that he counts his steps every day when walking to teach his classes on the Uganda Christian University (UCU) Mukono campus.

“Well, I suppose I have done that,” the noted math teacher reflected in his British accent. “I hadn’t thought much about it really, but I do know precisely how long it takes me to get there.”

The rapid steps from his T1 apartment in UCU’s Tech Park area to a single-level building below the campus’ student dining hall took 10 minutes. The last week of February 2019, he walked them one last time. On March 11, he boarded a plane in Entebbe to fly to his Beverley, England, home – for good.

John Smith with a former student, Alex Kamoga, who calls the math instructor “a great pillar in my life…he paid all my school fees.” (UCU Partners photo)
John Smith with a former student, Alex Kamoga, who calls the math instructor “a great pillar in my life…he paid all my school fees.” (UCU Partners photo)

“Dr. John,” as he is known, has been a fixture at UCU for 13 years.  Hailing from the United Kingdom, he is UCU’s most tenured teaching faculty from the Western World.

“I won’t be back this time,” John said while stuffing clothes and papers into an opened green suitcase on his apartment couch. “I’m not sure how I feel about it really. But I thought about leaving a year ago. I am 75, you know.”

In truth, John, born in 1944 in the United Kingdom, will turn age 75 on June 13. In the days before leaving the university campus and with the acknowledgment of the difficulty in summarizing a quarter-century of living, he checked off six key areas:

  • Bachelor, master’s and doctoral degrees in mathematics from Keble and St. John’s colleges with the University of Oxford (England);
  • One year of teaching math at the Royal University of Malta in the Mediterranean at age 22;
  • Two years at the College of the Resurrection (known as Mirfield) in England to become a priest at age 28;
  • Thirty-two years (age 30 to 62) teaching math at an elite, boys’ boarding school called Winchester College;
  • Thirteen years as a math lecturer at Uganda Christian University; and
  • A girlfriend or two but never married.

Why mathematics?
“From when I was a small child, I always liked numbers, adding and multiplying them. I was about 17 when geometry hooked me in. I found the shapes and sizes and properties of space fascinating. It just went on.”

Why the priesthood?
“Even as a child, it occurred to me that I might want to be a priest some day. Then, when I was at Malta, a priest suggested the vocation.  And somehow, it did work out that way. At Winchester, I was a chaplain and a math teacher. I would go into the boarding houses and say prayers with the boys before their confirmation class. I was never a parish priest, but I did work part time in a parish.”

What about family?
“I was told our family original name was “Smelt” and not “Smith.” Ihad a brother, David, who died. I have an older sister who lives two miles down the road (in England) and lots of nieces, nephews, great-nieces, and great-nephews. I enjoy company, but I don’t mind being on my own. Look at Albert Einstein. We remember him for his intelligence and theory of relativity and not necessarily his family.”

Why Africa?
“For a long time, I wanted to come and serve in Africa.”

Why UCU?
“When I was preparing to retire from Winchester, my Bishop (the late John Taylor, a former missionary in Uganda) suggested Uganda Christian University as a place for me to carry on both as a priest and a teacher.  Stephen Noll (former UCU Vice Chancellor) agreed. While I haven’t functioned formally as a priest here, inevitably being a priest influences the way that you live and work and how you relate to people.”

At UCU, John Smith taught undergraduates, generally around 35 in a class and mostly in foundational courses, but also in such subjects as financial management and linear algebra. He reached roughly 2,500 students in 13 years.

“I tried to help them, to make them think,” he said. “I hope I did.  I yelled at a few students, which wasn’t right, I suppose. I caught a couple cheating and that required a lot of meetings. But mostly it was enjoyable here.”

While most students at his school in Winchester were white, John was amazed at “how quickly I didn’t see color” in the students at UCU. A few students became special friends over the years with more than a few getting their tuition and other expenses paid by the math teacher they call “father.” Some came for dinner that his Ugandan helper fixed once a week in his modestly furnished apartment.

When he wasn’t teaching, he mostly stayed in the apartment. John’s occasional, always brisk walks out the university gate were generally to buy rolex (an egg-and-bread local food) on the street.

Prior to coming to Uganda, John published a couple research papers that garnered academic attention. He pulled out one on yellowed, stapled paper.  The title was “Ptolemaic Inequities with Odd Powers.” Ptolemy’s theory is that inequality becomes equality when four points on placed a certain way on a circle.

“Not sure why I kept this,” he said, turning it over. “It was important to me at a time, but not so much now.”

Discarding items is part of moving on. A small TV set went to the housekeeper. In early March and from John’s UCU apartment, eight pairs of shoes were scattered on the floor and books and clothes were on a table, trying to make it into three bags with 13 years of accumulation. A worn, open Bible rested on four, stacked plastic chairs.

“I have 27 people I would like to say goodbye to and give a few more things to,” he said, referring to the number of names handwritten on a piece of paper.  “Twenty-seven. That is a pretty good sum total, don’t you think?”

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The faculty members at Uganda Christian University are mostly from Uganda, but other professors come from around the world to provide curriculum.  To support programs at UCU, go to www.ugandapartners.org and click on the “donate” button or contact UCU Partners Executive Director, Mark Bartels, at mtbartels@gmail.com.